Dr. Ixim Chalfond of the Azalian Institute of Medical Sciences made an astounding discovery yesterday while working with the chemicals that laranaps release when frightened. Anyone who has owned one of these adorably fuzzy pets knows the hazards of cuddling the thing just a little too tightly; bumping into doors and walls that look to be several feet away is no picnic. This chemical, however, can do more than just alter a person's depth perception. When taken in the right concentration and with the right mixture of ingredients, it seems that the substance can magnify a person's eyesight, essentially working as a pair of glasses to repair your vision.
"In essence, this chemical changes the shape of a person's eyes," Dr. Chalfond explained. "Nature designed these little creatures to be able to get away from any predator that happened to be chasing them. By releasing this compound into the air, laranaps would be able to affect their predators' eyesight, allowing them to escape. Because of this, anything chasing a laranap would largely breathe this chemical in and be quickly affected. What we've done in the lab is to simply change the parameters within which the compound is working."
Examining the effects of the chemical on ocular tissue under a microscope and on other animals in the lab, Dr. Chalfond concluded that the chemical does not affect the brain, but rather the eyes themselves, causing the liquids in the eye to push the cornea into a different shape. The doctor then ran a series of tests, culminating in yesterday's test on a series of volunteer subjects that conclusively proved the effectiveness of the drug at improving eyesight.
While the effects are only temporary, Dr. Chalfond is looking into ways to increase the duration, and he says that he is very optimistic. So while sight-correcting pills won't be on the shelves anytime soon, be assured that someday you will be able to buy them. Just be prepared to pay a hefty sum for the privilege.
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